Africa Trip 2006

Just a quick and very general outline of my trip to Africa (July 4-23) for Project ChildCare Foundation (PCF). I arrive in Johannesburg, South Africa, thereon proceeding to Lusaka, Zambia where I will be visiting The Kondwa Centre for Orphans, in the Ng' ombe Compound of Lusaka. From there I will travel north to Uganda, beginning with Entebbe, Kampala and then to Kasese in Western Uganda, near the borders of Rwanda and the DRC, where I will then be visiting The House of Hope (HOH) Orphanage. Finally I will be ending the working portion of my trip in Western Kenya, where I will be meeting with the folks from the Kaloleni Centre in Kisumu. And then finally, I will be heading to South Mombasa at the Sea of Madagascar.

Ecce ego quia vocasti me - G.

Heathrow. 36 hours straight of no sleep. So knackered. Walked London all day for 8 hours. Met a group of folks with UNHCR, WHO, and UNAIDS also headed to Africa. Great chat. Swell lunch at The Groucho Club with Fiona (Russell's lovely sis.) Heading out for the 12 hour flight to Jo'burg, South Africa. Finally, Africa. - G.

Internet service down in Ng'ombe Compound for the past 48 hours. I have just a few minutes. Arrived in Lusaka yesterday. Went straight to the Kondwa Centre for Orphans in the Ng'ombe Compound of Lusaka. According to the CARE International and UNHCR people I have met here, this is one of the poorest in all of Africa. Almost 60% of young women and men are HIV positive (far worst than is widely reported.) I have also learned that 15% of the orphaned children in Kondwa are HIV positive. The suffering and poverty here are unspeakable. But the children of Kondwa are beautiful and joyous - beyond description. The children (all 93 of them in Kondwa) performed to celebrate my arrival - with dances, songs, poetry recitals and even some theatrical performances. I have never seen children like these before anywhere - they rush over to me at every moment, embracing you and just wanting to hold you close to them. They are filled with joy and humour and play and affection. They are covered in dried mud and dust, clothes torn and rotting, with sores and blisters on their tiny faces and limbs. I want to be with them at every moment. There is so much love and sense of family here - like nowhere else. The women of Kondwa, teachers and counselors and helpers (all volunteers), are endearing and bright and very kind. They are filled with dedication to and compassion for the children and the community. The quiet courageous healing power of women. The Ng'ombe slums have more than 60,000 orphans alone - a low estimate by all accounts. Some of the children are advanced in their HIV positive state and can barely sit up - but they never fail to want to be embraced and share a smile filled with hope and yearning for comfort.

In the past 36 hours I have met Angela - a saint by any measure, compassion and kindness beyond description - the volunteers of Kondwa, the nuns living and working in the Ng'ombe slums, the volunteer helpers, and aid workers from CARE International, OxFam, UNAIDS, other NGOs. I have also met with the some of the board members of Kondwa (Angela, for all intent and purposes, and by far, does all the real work and labour and management of the Centre.) She is Kondwa. I have toured around Lusaka - a city of more than 2 million. I have visited orphanages, AIDS support centres, clinics, local community centres - there are not enough hours to see it all and talk and meet with these gentle and kind and remarkable people. After 50 hours and going on 6 hours of sleep, my body is finally succumbing to fatigue, but you quickly forget how tired you are when you are with the children. I hope to get some sleep tonight to re-energise for tomorrow. I have cancelled my weekend trip to Victoria Falls and have decided to stay with the community and children of Kondwa for my remaining 3 days here. Here I feel - like I am home. How dull and lifeless and full of pretension London was by comparison - here people are alive and beautiful and joyful, filled with so much faith and humility and love.

Must go for now. May not be able to post my next blog until I get to Uganda in a few days' time. I wish I could stay in Africa for months. There is so much terrible and unspeakable suffering here - children alone left by the wayside, abandoned - and dreadful squalor and poverty - their meals at Kondwa, after they leave for the weekend, is most likely their last one until they come back on Monday. And yet there is no more beautiful and joyful place I have ever seen or been to. Here, life is God and love and hope. Will be visiting more places and people tomorrow. Staying at Angela's home to be closer to Kondwa. I feel like I have been here for weeks and everyone treats me like this is my home and they are my family. - G.

My last 2 days in Zambia. To understand The Kondwa Centre for Orphans, I realize now, one must understand and get to know the slums of Ng'ombe. Taking up a large area of Lusaka, about 90,000 households, maybe up to half a million people, a reported 60,000 orphans (actual number is closer to 100,00-125,00 orphans by people who actually live here, since the confirmed orphans are those who have been registered by a guardian, and the majority of orphans are never registered.) I spent most of my Saturday (from 8 am until about 6 pm) walking the Ng'ombe slums with Angela

- whose spirit and strength and resilience and humility and love and laughter continues to inspire me, and from which I draw strength and understanding - and some of the community guardians and elders (mothers and grandmothers) who walk the slums everyday, visiting the young parents who are HIV positive (or dying of AIDS), and provide home-based care, and psychosocial and community support. We walked for hours and the slums seemed unending.

Visited dozens of homes (of mud-brick walls and palm roofs), rugged winding narrow dirt roads and sewege canals, where I met many of the dying (predominantly from AIDS and AIDS-related illnesses), laying on the cold dirt floor. These "homes" are about 50 square feet (or even less), with entire families living in them. There is no furniture. There are no windows. Just a small, dark, dank, filthy room. These women hold the dying, talk to them, console them, clean them, feed them, pray with them. Young men and women, in their 20s and 30s, most of them in their last stages of AIDS, suffering in torment and pain and poverty and desolation. I thought that meeting with them, in a way, was sort of meeting with part of Africa - suffering in desolate darkness, surrounded by torment and corruption and disease and squalor, abandoned and forgotten by the world, despised by some, misunderstood by many, and existing in the loneliest depths of agony and despair, yet, somehow, mysteriously - hopeful, calm, even joyful, strong, faithful, never too devastated or beaten down to continue to love and live - the darkness of these desolate homes, covered in dirt and darkness, with no water, no food, none of even the most basic of human needs ... and outside in the blinding afternoon sun, the soon to be orphaned children play in the dirt, left alone and abandoned with no care and food or protection. (They are so poor that no one can afford to buy what is sold in the nearby food market - deep-fried mice, animal entrails and dried fish bones.)

The women of The Ng'ombe Home-Based Care Community and Support Centre (co-ordinated by a lovely and dimunitive but robust Irish Fransican nun who has lived in Africa for more than 40 years - Sister Marie O'Brien, another new friend) - these women, come and care and save these children, bring them to Kondwa, while they also care for the dying parents. The dying hold on to you with dark sunken eyes and quiet cries of fear and agony. I cannot bear to look at them, yet I also cannot turn away from them. To weep seems senseless and indulgent to me. So we hold them, pray with them, care for them - and then we carry the children to Kondwa as the parents die. 80 young adults will die this week in this community alone, and more than 100 children will be orphaned this week in the slums of Ng'ombe.

I have only been in Lusaka for 3 days, but I feel like I have been here for weeks. Largely because of Angela's boundless energy and fierce determination to make sure that I see and share and learn as much as possible . I managed to talk my way into getting in to the UN Compaound here - pretty much the same manner I managed to stumble my way into the Peace Corps almost 20 years ago - and spoke to some very nice folks from UNICEF, UNHCR, and UNAIDS.

On Friday evening Angela's sons - Paul and Aaron- took me out to a few neighbourhood pubs and nightclubs for some pints - to show me how the young adults here in this community spent their weekends and cope with the travails of life. In the midst of the drinking and music and fun and laughter, there was also a distinct palpable feeling of depression, despair, and reckless abandon.

Today, I visited the various government offices that are involved with NGOs and local charities - the Revenue Ministry and Registrar of Charities. Dull and fattened bureaucrats and bookeepers.

About a couple of months ago, a small team of CARE International volunteers visited Kondwa. Angela asked one of the fellows who he was and what he did for a living and he replied that he was an American actor visiting orphanages in Africa for a week. The fellow was Matt Damon. Angela had no idea who he was until she saw a photo of him in a magazine, and she soonafter received an e-mail from him whereby Matt told her that out of the dozens of projects he had visited throughout Africa that week, Kondwa most touched his heart. There was an article in People magazine apparently where Matt spoke of Africa, and his fondness and admiration of Kondwa. (Upon hearing this story, I asked the staff and children of Kondwa, and they all agreed that I was certainly handsomer than Matt Damon - the fact that I was handing the snacks and candy at the same time I asked the question, I am sure, did not prejudice their judgment in any way whatsoever.)

Going back to Ng'ombe and Kondwa tonight and tomorrow morning before leaving for Uganda. Uganda and the land journey to Kasese in a remote part of the Western Uganda, I anticipate, will be most gruelling and demanding part of my trip. Consequently, I may not be able to post any blogs for the next few days. I look forward to meeting Edward and the children of the House of Hope (HOH).

The last 48 hours: Lusaka, Zambia - Lilongwe, Malawi - Nairobi, Kenya - Entebbe, Uganda - Kampala, Uganda - Kasese, Uganda - and back to Kampala, Uganda.

I left Lusaka with a sad heavy heart Monday morning. I will miss the children of Ng'ombe and Kondwa terribly. I will miss the elegant grace and compassion of the women of Kondwa. But most of all, I shall miss - and already very much do - Angela. I will miss her kind and laughing face. She is practically venerated by the community of Ng'ombe, and very well deserves every bit of the respect and affection she gets. She is a grandmother with the spirit of a child, the heart of a saint, and has more fortitude and determination and kindness than anyone else I have ever known. I have grown to love her and I know that I will think of her everyday. When I am with her, I am overwhelmed with the deepest respect and profound humility. She made me give her my word that I shall return to Africa and to Zambia soon again. I said I would - and I shall.

Unscheduled stop in Lilongwe, Malawi - briefly visited a UNICEF site. (Thought I'd wing it.)

At 22,000 feet our 12-seater Saab prop plane flew over the border of Kenya and Tanzania. The clouds lay at about 12,000 feet and the mighty, rich deep-brown peak of Mount Kilimanjaro broke through them. We soared right over the peak of the great mountain and could see right into it's crater. Because of global-warming, the snows of Kilimanjaro are almost all gone. (I thought, I should like to climb Kilimanjaro one day.) And as you descend below the clouds, you see the great safaris of Kenya and Tanzania lay beneath and before you. It was breathtaking and forever memorable.

Held up in Nairobi International Airport. Some American politician demanded that the entire airport be shut down while his 56-million dollar G5 jet would taxi with full military escort before take off. And, of course, he took his dear time. So everything was in a standstill and we had to sit on the tarmac for more than 40 minutes. Almost missed my connecting flight to Entebbe. Jackass.

The road from Entebbe, especially at night, is sinister and very dangerous.. The drive from Entebbe to Kampala along that one solitary dark road, surrounded by hundreds of people lined all along the way, kerosene lamps and torches lighting up the path, and squalor all around, was, admittedly, unnerving. I was very happy that Godfrey's nephew - Alex - would be my driver and guide. Alex, originally from Rwanda and the DRC, was abducted by the LRA of Northern Uganda when he was only 11 years old and forced into a life of a child soldier and servant for the LRA for more than 3 years. He is a very bright and kind and patient young man. But although we shared some good humour during our journey together, there is a pervasive sadness about Alex that is difficult not to notice. We too have become new friends. I will tell people his story when I return to Canada.

Awoke early the next morning for the 7 hour drive to the mountain town of Kasese in Western Uganda to visit House of Hope (HOH). It was not an easy drive at all. The mountains of Kasese, however, are cool and sublime and graceful. Arriving fatigued and covered in dust and dirt, I finally met Edward and the children of HOH.

In the next 24 hours, Edward and I walked all around the community of Kasese and HOH. I met his townfolk, and some of the dancing and singing women of the local Patient Support and Community Centre for women who are HIV positive had greeted me with a warmth and humour that I now know is common and evrywhere here in Africa. They were a joy to meet.

I met more than a hundred of the children (half of whom, according to Edward, are HIV positive) from the slums nearby HOH. I cannot resist these children of Africa and their little dirty angel faces, tiny thin bodies, and bountiful smiles and embraces. I wanted to see if I could embrace every single one of them. I never want to let them go. Edward was a joy to meet - big in zeal, compassionate, generous, loving, kind and gentle man. We dined and had breakfast together, took long walks in quiet conversation. I am very happy because I know that I will see him in Toronto again soon after my return. I understand him well and I think he sensed that immediately, and thus, we became friends quickly. He seems to trust me and I will not let him down. I also visited and met with the director and teachers of the local primary school. And then I met the children of HOH.

Oh the children - there is so much beauty and love in these children that I feel overwhelmed everytime I am with them. Any selfish thoughts of fatigue quickly leaves me and I am instead filled with joy and peace and love that I have not felt for a very very long time. It is a joy and peace that I yearn for and have missed terribly so. The children are just wonderful - Danny (who doesn't speak), Moses (whom Edward found and saved as a 2 day old baby that someone had placed in a plastic bag and abandoned by the wayside), kind Angela, the ever so precocious Mary, and the all the rest.

But it was Fiona that has completely stolen my heart.

I saw her first singing in the choir upon my arrival. She is a tall and sprite 10 year-old girl with a child's beauty and grace that is unmatched and exquisite. I think of her at every moment. She is a joyful child and she takes my breath away. I cannot stop embracing her and holding her lovely little face, and she cannot stop gazing at me, arms stretched out and held high. Edward, as we walked together with the children to school this morning, caught her looking at me as I strolled alongside her, and he asked her if she would want me to take her to Canada and be her "Papa" - to which Fiona looked at me so shyly and replied "yes, oh yes", without any hesitation. I love this child. She will be in my dreams and in my prayers.

Although the trip to Kasese and HOH has been exhausting, I am so happy to have come and visited. Edward has indeed brought together a wonderful family here and they are forever bound by their shared selfless love and care and kindness and protection for one another.

Although I have been getting by on 4-5 hours of sleep every night and am up by 6 am every morning, and do feel very fatigued by the end of each and every wonderful day, it is my mind that has grown so tired and weary. I end every day collecting my thoughts in prayer and solitude. I usually find myself a quiet dark corner somewhere to have my pint of lager and cigar. I am overwhelmed by everything I have seen and touched and learned these last 7 days. And I feel so inadequate and helpless. I know that I must work harder than ever before. I know realize that was not workng hard enough - not nearly enough - and I must for these children and women. I have grown to dearly love this place and these children.

Tomorrow I leave at 5 am for the long bus ride to Kisumu, Kenya to meet the orphaned children of the Kaloleni Centre in the slums of Kaloleni. - G.

No Internet access at all available anywhere I have been between between July 13 to July 20. I am quite knackered but doing very well. Between July 12-13, I had travelled more than 1700 kilometres all across the entire country of Uganda and right into Kenya on very difficult terrain.

The bus ride from Kampala, Uganda to Kisumu, Kenya was awful - the worst I have had here in Africa. More than 8 hours non-stop on the worst and most rugged terrain imaginable. And the weather was equally trying - torrential rain, floods, cold winds and then the scorching heat. The driver refused to stop for almost the entire journey. The land crossing from the Ugandan border into Kenya is unimaginable chaos. Hundreds of people - confused and mad queuing. (And on the way, our driver hit a young boy on an old bicycle carrying large crates of bananas - he was fine, just shaken but was left by the roadside crying all alone. So terrible.) As we drove all across Easter Uganda and into Western Kenya - town after town - I saw countless coffins all lined up outside (some in funerals, others on display for sale.) I myself saw and counted more than 200 coffins - both for adults and children - along the roadside during this portion of the trip. Did not feel like taking any photos. It was surreal and haunting and it was a sight I wish I never saw.

Arrived in Kisumu on July 13.

Zaddock was out of town but I had a wonderful conversation with him on the phone. He could not stop giggling the entire time we spoke. Very funny fellow. [Amanda] I dropped of your stuff for Zaddock at The Port Florence Hospital in town. Very nice place and people.

Ann, Joe's sister, was my tour guide and most trusted guardian during my 2 days in Kisumu. There is a very strong and publicly visible animosoity between the differrent tribes in Kisumu, and we saw fighting and shouting all day long between groups of men belonging to different local tribes. Twice we were caught in this frenzy of infighting and public funerals between these groups - about a hundred or more men, some with old handguns and semi-automatic weapons, carrying the coffins of their dead, gesticulating and screaming madly. A few saw me with Ann and tried to frighten us by pointing their guns at us. All we could do, of course, was to just stand still and try to be as cool and polite as possible. The Maasai tribesmen, though, were very friendly and warm in manner. They are the only tribe in Kenya that still wear their traditional tribal wear. All in all I liked Kisumu very much - except the riots, but it certainly made our day interesting. Oh yes, went to Tilapia Beach for lunch. (Hmm, very interesting and unforgettable, indeed. Now I certainly understand why the ever-so-adventuresome Amanda loved this place.) And finally, everyone agreed that Cindy's hand-drawn map of Kisumu (from memory at that) - like the very girl herself - was quite remarkable.

The best part of my visit to Kisumu, without a doubt, was meeting Joe. What a gentle, gentle man, but with the fiercest of kind conviction and compassion.

I visisted the Kisumu Provincial Hospital and Patient Support Centre. Walked around and visited several homes and families at the Kaloleni Slums. Met the orphaned boys of the slums. These boys have a darkness and tormented suffering in them that I have not seen in any of the other African children I have met. They certainly suffer in poverty like the rest, but they live in such sordidness and torment and darkness that they seem to have almost lost any sense of being a child within them.

There is no innocence in their eyes nor joy in their countenance. They are all victims of child prostitution, substance and drug abuse, criminal and domestic violence, seemingly every imaginable abuse and human transgression. There is an almost unbearable measure of suffering and and horror here. Joe and I spent the entire day, walking and talking - he is a remarkable young man, wise beyond his years, and what he is trying to accomplish here, with these abandoned and tortured orphans, is not only courageous and compassionate, but also makes very much good and sound sense given the lives and circumstances of these children. He is their only hope. The young boy who had inspired Joe to organize the Kaloleni Centre for these children died of AIDS just a few days ago. The entire place is in mourning - the Muslim women of the community all still wear white - and the boy's blind, ailing and very old grandfather, whom I met and visited with, could not stop weeping for his dead grandson.

It has hit Joe hard too - very clearly. I have grown very fond of Joe and his almost boyish gentleness and affection. But it is his fierce conviction and drive that makes him extraordinary and that has won my respect and admiration. At their kind and generous invitation, I dined with Joe and his entire family at their home - his wife Joyce is lovely, and equally kind and wonderful. Afterwards, Joe refused to say goodbye to me. He insisted that I say "See you later, Joe - when I come back to Africa and to Kisumu." Cindy and Amanda are absolutely right about everything here.

Off to South Mombasa, Kenya. -G.

The Indian Ocean at the Sea of Madagascar and my little banda (African beach hut) is wonderful. Indeed, it is very beautiful here. And the wild monkeys all over the place make me laugh. But I cannot stand being here with the tourists. I feel disconnected and distant from everyone. I cannot rest nor sleep. My mind is restless and my sleep filled with haunting dreams. I yearn to be back with the children. I have decided to visit a nearby orphanage in the town of Diani, South Mombasa.

I don't want to leave Africa yet. Although my body and mind continue to be restless and weary - I am very happy to be here in Africa. I am grateful to those whose faith in me and this journey have never wavered - for to have seen and touched what I have been given is truly a blessing and privilege. I know that, for now, I can help and be of more use to these African children working and advocating on their behalf in Canada rather than staying here in Africa. My one consolation is that - now - I know that I am surrounded by my good and kind friends at the Foundation who I know will work hard, remain faithful, diligent and steadfast to the work at hand - keeping one another in tow. It is within this confidence and assurance that I find some comfort and hope.

I will be happy to see Hessam in NYC over the weekend. It will be good to see my old friend and go for our usual walk in Central Park - old familiar conversations of personal triumphs and travails. -G.

For the next few days: Nairobi, Kenya - Johannesburg, South Africa - NYC - Toronto.

I feel as if I have been here for months. I have so many stories and memories that I can barely hold onto and comprehend them. I don't feel like I am coming home. I feel like I am already home here. I don't know why the West calls this place The Dark Continent - it is the most gloriously colourful and beautiful and sunny and vibrant and lyrical of all places.

When people ask me about this trip and how it was - I will have no idea what to say to them. I wouldn't even know how or where to begin. When I hold these children close to me and touch their tender little faces ... when I hold a dying man in the lonely squalor of the slums, trembling with suffering and fear and hope, it is as if I touch the face of God. My heart is so heavy with sadness departing from here.

Africa is the most joyful and powerful and beautiful and horrible place on earth -G.

Most people look at the world as it is and ask "Why?".
I look at the world as it can be and ask "Why not?". -G.